Do You Remember "1st January 2020"?
That date seems so far ago.
You might be wondering why I'm posting this reflection 19-ish months late. Well, the simple answer is that I was depressed.
I had just moved to the UK in December 2019 and was learning the ropes in a new country. The first week was a rollercoaster: I got a job three days after landing in the country but found out renting a place was a lot harder than I expected. Essentially, I had work, but I was 'homeless'. My sister and I were sharing a room - emphasis on 'a single room' - in an Airbnb, trying to navigate the rental world without proof of having any 'previous tenancy'. To be fair, the slump was only two weeks - and we were in Hackney - but it was one of the longest two weeks in my life...well, until the real the sh*t show came around the corner.
Fast forward to a week before Christmas where we moved into our amazing little flat in West London. My sister and I were excited for the new year - heck, a new decade! We were gearing up for our first duo Christmas tradition: matching Christmas PJs from Primark, hot chocolate with whipped cream, and a real Christmas Tree!!! Things were looking up. We celebrated the end of the year with a typical British high-tea, courtesy of my sister's former colleagues, and a walk through the famous Hyde Park. It was freezing, but we were loving the new prospects of our new home. As the New Year dawned on us, we were super excited.
So why was I depressed?
Simple, I was homesick.
More specifically, I was routine-sick. I love my mum and dad, but I was video calling them so often it was like I never left Sydney. No. I wasn't home-homesick, I was work-homesick and friend-homesick. The school I was working at was SUPER strict and unloving that I almost quit one week into the Spring Term. I didn't hate the students, I hated the system. I felt like I was being watched 24-7 and I was going to lose my job at any time. I was also really confused with church life. I felt like people saw me, but I wasn't seen. They heard me, but in reality, no one was actually listening. Needless to say, 2020 did not start well for me. professionally and socially. I was ready to pack my bags and head home ASAP.
I missed the friends I grew up with, studied with, and worked with; I missed being familiar to, well, anyone. I felt invisible.
So, why did I stay?
Next: FEB 2020 - Rumours of Wars